At least we have Kirk

Yes, our Montreal Canadiens are mired in mediocrity. Have been for over a decade. We can’t hit, skate, score, or keep the damn puck out of our own net (details, I know). But in this time of despair, at least we have the specimen that is Kirk Muller to keep us warm on those lonely nights at sea. Is it wrong to want your team to take more penalties just so the camera pans to the bench and you get a glimpse of Captain Kirk? Kidding, kidding … mostly.

Granted, in the world of NHL coaches, you don’t have to look like Viggo Mortensen to be a hottie. Does your suit roughly match the contours of your body? Are you adequately groomed? Are you not inclined to style what’s left of your hair in a greasy pompadour? Are you a few pounds short of morbidly obese? When you smile, do small children stand their ground without soiling themselves? Then you just short-listed for Hottest Coach Award.

So maybe Kirk doesn’t have to work (it) too hard to stand out from the coaching pack. But boy, does he ever stand out. Those chiseled features. The way he fills out that suit. Here’s one ex-player who isn’t letting himself go spherical in retirement. Keep it up, Kirk. Some nights, with this team, you’re all I have to keep me going.

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